They kids have gotten older and they are wanting to do more ‘their way’, instead of according to my checklists. They are involved in more outings, field trips, classes, homework and I am having a hard time keeping up.

I am learning to let go a bit as a single parent I can only do so much. My salary isn’t high enough to hire the extra help to keep up the yard, the laundry, and having to take time off to run kids to the doctor, dentist, ballet, or pick them up from school on sick days has proven a challenge.

With the New Year approaching I am starting to think about goals, plans, and dreams for the upcoming year.
I know some of the things I did this last year didn’t work – so it’s time to start thinking about new strategies for managing my family, health, and spirit.

Setting goals for the new year makes more sense to me then setting New Years Resolutions. I think it’s time to start mulling over some 2010 New Year Goals.

How do you keep your children’s schedules together ?
I’m a big list maker. For my nine-year-old, I have a list of basic things for him to do when he comes home from school, including homework, putting away his laundry, putting his lunchbox on the counter (so I’m not searching for it frantically 10 minutes after we were supposed to leave) and setting the table if it’s his night.
For my daughter, who is 12, I’ve learned that rigidity with pre-teens just doesn’t work, so my requirements for her are a little more basic. (I have more important battles to fight!) Before she can be on the computer (her favorite thing), she has to finish homework, tidy her room and read a little bit from a devotional book.
I don’t give my kids a lot of time to unwind after they get home from school. It doesn’t work for us. They get off track and then it’s a homework battle at 9:30 at night when my patience and energy levels are on empty. Plus, they both have sports practices, so they really need to get homework and other responsibilities done right away.

Do you use a particular day planner ?
I use a planner called “Hot Chocolate.” I buy all their notebooks, too. They are so fun and funky that I’m more likely to make lists and keep on top of my schedule. I need all the incentive I can get!

Do you own a blackberry?
I don’t. Although my daughter told me today that I “need” to get one. She claims my current cell phone is “so lame.”

What is your most used ‘time saving tip’ when it comes to running your house?
I’d say, “Don’t procrastinate!” Leaving dishes in the sink, for example, makes them so much harder to clean the next day. The more you let things pile up, the longer it takes to dig out. I don’t always follow this, but when I do, it makes my life so much easier.

Do you have a favourite quick meal for your family?
I’m big into healthy. I buy Boboli Whole Wheat pizza crusts, use Organic Ragu, pile on the cheese (soy cheese is healthiest) and add our favorite toppings. Instead of regular Pepperoni, I use Turkey Pepperoni. It’s a crowd-pleaser every time. And my crowd isn’t so easy to please.

Tell us the truth ? What would we find in your car right now ?
Ooooo… You asked me this question at the right time! I just cleaned and vacuumed my van a few days ago. Right NOW, you’d only find a few Encyclopedia Brown books that my son likes to read when we’re on the road. LAST WEEK, you would have found a treasure trove of goodies, including a bag of rotten celery that somehow didn’t get brought in with the rest of the groceries. My house is always far more clean and organized than my van!

You seem like a mom who understands the importance of not expecting perfection. What advice would you give to other moms who feel the pressure of trying to be ‘super mom’?
I spent many years being crushed by that pressure. But, for the most part, I’m free now. Understanding God’s unconditional love for me helps me to remember to do the same with my children, which can be very difficult sometimes! When I was trying to be “supermom” I felt so isolated. But as I began to share my struggles and let my guard down, I found SO many moms who were having the same fears and struggles. I found community and support. That also made a huge difference.

What is your number one goal for the year ? How do you plan to reach it ?
From a professional standpoint, my number one goal is to write my first book. I’ve set aside 1-2 hours a day to work on this alone. I’m getting up earlier in the morning so I can be sure to keep up with all the other things that need to be done for the family. I’ve also shared my goal with others so that I can gain support and encouragement along the way. And, most importantly, I’m praying ALOT! ;0)

Melinda is a mother of two, ages 12 and 9, as well as a writer and speaker. She writes frequently on parenting topics, as her children and her experiences with them provide a great deal of meaty and humorous material. You can visit her blog “Coming Clean: Confessions of an Imperfect Parent” at http://www.parentingconfessions.com

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I think part of the answer is to acknowledge your individual style and family needs.

I am often told by others that they think I am super mom – but things are not perfect in my home. I get a lot done by taking each project and breaking it down into small realistic steps – but that’s another topic …

I also found when i stayed at home I would notice motivation would wane and I wasn’t getting out of the house. So be sure to schedule out of the house time :-) If you know you have to be up and out of the house every day at 9 30 am, you will be able to schedule what needs to be done before then and have the motivation to get it done.

If we “stay home” too much we tend to slow down (or at least I do :-)

I have never liked the term stay at home mom … you are a mom.

Staying at home implies you are in the home – but you aren’t – you are everywhere ! Out walking, doing errands, scheduling play dates, classes, homework, soccer, ballet, dentist appointments … its a full time job. I like the title CEO mom. Running a family is as hard as running a company.

So those big jobs you mention (even if it was tongue in cheek … tell me your partner (the one who works full time out of the house) how much time is in his schedule to be painting the living room and resurfacing the deck” – that’s how much time you have as a full time mom ! You both have full time jobs..

It sounds like if you want to schedule those other big jobs in you will be pulling an all nighter at the office (oops home) outside of your regular stay at home mom working hours.
Another tip : Each evening write a to do list for the small things you realistically should be able to fit in the next day- start with no more than 5.
Good Luck !

Alison Miller has some great advice for the morning rush and I stand behind her advice.

“The problem is in what you expect of your daughter. A four-year-old simply cannot organize herself to move as quickly and efficiently as an adult or an older child. She doesn’t yet have a mature understanding of time. She can’t yet remember what she has to do next at any given point. She can’t make a list on paper, let alone in her head. You have to allow plenty of time, and help her through the process.” Alison Miller’s answer to a parent taken from her website Life Seminars .

There are so many ways we can help our children (and those tired cranky moms). We have all heard about the Yummy Mommy movement and like any point of view there are positives and negatives, but putting yourself first so that you are well rested will help your entire family.

Here are a few things that help me with the school rush:

1) Let the children select their own clothing for the next morning as part of your evening routine the night before.

2) Have the children pack their school bags after they finish their evening homework.

3) Give yourself some time before the children wake up. Set your alarm 5 minutes early each day for five days. An extra 25 minutes each morning before your children wake up will allow you to get things done without being rushed and interrupted by children.

4) Turn the TV OFF. Television will slow everyone down and inevitably result in ” MOMMM, just 5 more minutes.” Instead make some upbeat fun music CDs and play them in the morning.

5) Consider your child’s individuality. If your son won’t eat breakfast, stop fighting. Make him a healthy shake or send him to school with a yogurt tube and a granola bar. If your daughter has a hard time waking up each morning, maybe a morning shower would help.

6) Have a “Launch Pad” near your front door. Have everything waiting and ready to go the night before. School bags, agenda’s, shoes, coats, mitts, sunglasses, library books, videos to return.

Please share your tips for the morning rush by commenting below.